my teacher,my friend ,Fr.George Kandathil

this is the image of my beloved teacher Fr.George who has physically left this world but continues to live in the hearts of his students and numerous families who he has helped directly or indirectly through others.
some of the things that I remember now... what he used to say and do :

• "keep the transactions complementary".(this means to relate with awareness)
• "go with her so she may go with you"( this was something I heard him say to a quarreling couple)
• "calm down ,be peaceful" ( to agitated people )
• "anchoring is the most important thing".(by anchoring he meant a steady basis to one's life)
• "god is our anchor".(for all the first cause is the basis)
•  "play by the ear"( this means to live life from our awareness)

 I met Fr.George for the first time in a foundation course on Transactional analysis in Trivandrum in 1997, after listening to him for an hour as he spoke on TA and life in general, I knew I had found my teacher, and immediately after the session walked up to him and shocked myself and him by saying that I would like to be close to him and learn directly from him. he asked me to join a group that was studying TA professor Simon's house, and thus began my foray into the world of Fr.George &TA. about this time I did not realize why I was so desperately wanting to meet father, and learn TA.
  My immediate need was to quit smoking , and so I went to him with this problem. he met me in his room he looked very relaxed and immediately asked me how many cigarettes I smoked , to which I replied four or five. he said that's ok, you dont have to worry much about that. but if you want to stop you can.
I dont remember what else he told me but in the end of the talk I felt very much like smoking and told him so.
he said," you are free       to either smoke or not smoke".
thus introducing me to the first taste of freedom, something that he always stressed through his life that " man has a freedom of choice"   so stop thinking that you have no choice.
there is a choice that each person can exercise in behaviour , feelings and thoughts. (later on in learning homeopathy I realised that this is true only regarding the people in the higher levels of health. others who are chronically ill cannot enjoy this freedom for long. they definitely need a homeopathic remedy to bring release and freedom from old patterns.)
freedom of decision was something he stressed . we used to go for long walks and I learnt a lot this way,. while walking in chengampuzha nagar, we would come to a cross road and he would pointedly ask me "which way shall we go?" and for no particular reason I would say "this way" and thus we explored a lot of territory around the CUSAT. knowing that I am timid  , he used to encourage talking with strangers. he would speak with perfect strangers as though they were long lost friends and gradually all my shyness and hesitancy melted away. nobody is a stranger now.
yet he also knew when to be silent and while travelling in a train or bus knew how to protect himself .
he was always caring and made you feel warm and wanted in his presence.one of the first things he did after warmly greeting us when we went to Santigram was to make sure we had food and rest and we felt relaxed and at home. I have never seen him hurry others except when it was practically necassary.
and would wait until someone opened up and asked for something before he spoke up.
thinking that he is no more makes me choke up with sadness, who shalt look at us with those affectionate eyes again? father.where are you?
once while on a walk at chengampuzha nagar we heard the beautiful  sound of birds and I stopped and commented about it. he immediately said " there must be something beautiful within you that you are able to hear the beauty outside" words that caught me by surprise and moved me deeply.